Stand Still So I Can Pick You Up
by CrazyHookerProductions
Summary: In which Axel uses all the corny pick-up lines at his disposal for one purpose; To be Roxas' boyfriend. AkuRoku. Rated for overuse of the F-word.


Axel was sitting in the Organization's meeting room. Usually, he'd be counting the ceiling tiles but now he was counting how many stitches were in the new guy's coat. The guy was short, very short, and that was all Axel could really see because the hood was up. Xemnas had introduced him as Number XIII. But he had to have been given a name by now.

As the meeting was called, people (New Guy inclusive) threw off their hoods and Axel nearly fell out of his chair. The guy was HOT!! Blonde hair, blue eyes, perfect complexion and a perfect body. Axel stood and approached the (EXTREMELY SEXY OHMYGOD DO ME) guy.

"Hey," Axel called as he waved the new guy over.

"Yeah?" He seemed a little offish, almost like a woman on PMS, but Axel liked 'em fiesty.

"I heard Superior introduce you as Number XIII. Do you have a name," Axel planted his hand on the wall behind the new guy and leaned down. "Or can I call you mine?"

"... Wait what?" Axel grinned. Then he got it. "Ugh, leave me alone!" The kid pushed Axel's arm away and marched off. Watching him walk off, Axel just smiled and leaned against the wall. The kid was cute and he was persisitent.

* * *

Axel met the new kid at breakfast the next morning. Clearly, the kid had made friends with Demyx. And Demyx kept calling him Roxas, had been since last evening. Axel had tried the name out in his room. It suited the guy; He looked like a Roxas.

So, he sat down on Roxas' vacated side. "Hey, guess what?"

"What?"

"It's my birthday. How 'bout a birthday kiss?"

Demyx looked over to him. "Axel, your birthday was last month."

Axel looked put-out for about five seconds. "Well, how 'bout a kiss anyway?"

"Fuck off, why don't you? God..."

So Axel did leave him alone. Until he came up with another line. "Hey, Roxas."

He sighed. "What?"

"Do you remember Crayola Crayons?" Axel started fiddling with his fork. "They used to have this color...Blizzard Blue. It was my favorite color and I could never figure out why. But I just realized why," He took Roxas' chin in his hand and pointed his face up so Axel could see into Roxas' eyes. "Your eyes...Blizzard Blue."

"Oh my God, leave me alone. Christ!" With that, Roxas pushed away from the table and stalked off.

Later, Demyx caught Roxas looking at his eyes in a mirror. When questioned, he said it was nothing.

* * *

Roxas was reading in the living room the next week. Or at least TRYING to read in the living that next week. Axel wouldn't leave the poor kid alone.

"Hey Roxas."

"What?"

"I'd look good on you."

"That's nice."

And there would be a nice silence for maybe a minute.

"Hey Roxas."

"What?"

"I've lost my virginity. Can I have yours?"

"..." There would be another silence, indicating Roxas ignoring Axel again, for maybe 30 seconds.

"Hey Roxas."

"Oh for Hell's sake... What?"

"Don't be surprised if sometime in the next week or so, a large man in a red suit comes and throws you in a sack?"

"What... the hell? Why?"

"Because I asked for YOU for Christmas."

Roxas stood up and threw his book directly into Axel's face and marched off. That wouldn't have been so bad except the book was one of Zexion's hardcovers.

* * *

In three more days, Axel was starting to get just a little bit physical. He snuck up behind Roxas while the kid was talking to Demyx and started petting his hair. Demyx started giggling and Roxas got up, knocked his hand away and yelled, "What the hell are you doing?"

"You have great hair. It'd look better spread all over my pillow."

Roxas let out a noise that sounded something like a growl and a roar and tried to sit in a different chair. Except Axel had done the unthinkable; He grabbed Roxas' ass.

"Is this seat taken?"

For maybe ten seconds, all Roxas could hear was Demyx laughing. Then he turned around and slapped Axel across the face. "LEAVE ME ALONE!!"

Then he left, Axel pouted and Demyx didn't think it was funny anymore.

* * *

In three more days, the collective Organization got together for a Christmas get-together. It wasn't a party, as the Superior had emphasized, but it was close enough. There was booze, decorations, snacks and more booze. For Axel, it was a perfect situation.

After maybe an hour there, Roxas was a little buzzed. And Axel made his move.

"Hey Roxas."

"Oh fuckin' ay... Whaddyou want?"

"Can I have directions to your heart?"

"I don't have one. Now fuck off."

Axel pouted. "Roxas, are you religious?"

"Not anymore."

"'Cause you're the answer to my prayers."

"Oh God..." Roxas pulled Axel out to a balcony. "Here's an idea. Instead of using cheesy lines that no one likes, why don't you just TELL ME HOW YOU REALLY FEEL!?"

Axel kissed him on the lips, biting gently enough to illicit a response. "There. That's how I feel. Now, I think pick-up lines are for people with too much time to waste. Wanna go back to my room and have sex?"

"Oh just shut up and kiss me again."


End file.
